What She Needs
by klswhite
Summary: Laura Hobson has everything she ever wanted. But something is still missing from her new life. I don't own, just borrow them to torture others from time to time.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

 **This story is dedicated to BJO. It all started in a conversation with her. Of course, she imagined a fluffy, fun story and instead she got this. I hope she won't kill me when we have dinner together.**

* * *

The last box was unpacked, its contents put away. She breathed a sigh of relief as she looked contentedly around the room. It was their new home. The first time in her life she'd lived with a man, or at least a man she was involved with, in love with.

It was equal parts terrifying and thrilling. It wasn't as if they didn't spend almost every night together. However, now there was nowhere to go. She couldn't feign illness to get a quiet night at home alone. He couldn't pretend fatigue to stay in and watch the football match. Now they would have to figure out those things together.

Her friends were shocked when she told them they were moving in together. They all felt it was sudden, too soon. What they didn't understand was it had been a long time in coming. All told, she probably knew more about Robbie and him about her than most couples did after years of marriage.

Their relationship was almost perfect. Not that she believed in perfection. In fact, she thought it was a myth. One which caused people entirely too much misery in life. She would happily take their lovely imperfection over any relationship she'd ever had in her life.

Even her friends, much pickier than his, seemed to like Robbie. They each felt he was perfectly suited to her and vice versa. On paper people might question their union but anyone who'd ever spent time with them understood. They just worked.

It had taken him a long time to come to that realization. But once he did, he wasted no time in closing the deal. It had been less than six months between that kiss in the White Horse to today. A whirlwind by some people's standard.

But when taken in the history of their courtship, which was how she liked to think of the past five years, it was long overdue. She was happy, was even willing to look past a few minor imperfections which marred an otherwise happy existence.

She didn't need everything. She didn't need a ring or marriage. Had never wanted children and was perfectly happy being a grandmother by proxy.

Picking up the last box, she smiled and nodded firmly to herself. _Yes, she had all she needed, all she'd ever wanted._ As she left the bedroom, flicking off the light behind her, she ignored the small voice in the back of her head whispering, y _ou're missing something._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Her yoga mat spread out on the living room floor, Laura was struggling to find her happy place. Two months had passed, two very long months. It turned out living with someone you also happened to love wasn't as easy as it looked.

All of that lovely togetherness eventually became confining. Robbie wasn't terribly neat although she had to admit he tried. Well perhaps she was too neat. Exhaling, she nodded, yes that was it; she was too neat. She could live with the odd dish in the sink. After all, he did take out the garbage.

He couldn't cook. Well he thought he could. But each meal consumed sent her running for the antacids later in the evening. She seemed to remember an agreement about him having supper on the table each night when he retired. Still, his bad meals did guarantee she didn't gain weight so there was a silver lining.

Changing positions, she had a view of the garden. For her it had been the selling point of the house. She'd imagined the parties they could have, people mingling happily on a summer's evening. Now there was a partially finished canoe on her beautiful patio. There were days when she came home and realized there had been no progress where she thought about striking a match and burning the damned thing to ash.

The mere thought of it always brought a smile of delight to her face. Several times Robbie had seen her smile and mistaken it for joy at the thought of lovely canoe rides down the Cherwell. Fortunately it had never happened when she was truly angry with him. If it did, she couldn't guarantee she wouldn't snap and tell him exactly what she thought of the damned thing.

Shaking her head, she tried to put all of these contentious thoughts out of her mind. The point of coming home early was to have a few minutes to herself. Thirty minutes with no one talking to her, asking her questions or just generally being around. She hadn't realized what a luxury it was to have time alone until she didn't have it.

The front door opened and she fought not to curse aloud. Closing her eyes, she tried to find her center, breath through her frustration.

"You're home early, love."

Dropping to the ground, she knew it was a lost cause. "Yes, it was a light day. Decided to take advantage. Where've you been?"

Holding up the bag in his hand, "Hardware store. Needed more glue."

She exhaled, trying to not think about the canoe. "What do you want to do for supper?"

"It's my night to cook. But I was thinking we might walk into town, grab a takeaway. Or if you want we could get some fish and chips, take a stroll."

She smiled up at him, "That sounds good, let me change."

He watched her as she rolled up her yoga mat and carefully put it away. One of the many things he loved about her was her everything in its place mentality. He was trying to do it but he often fell short. He knew it frustrated her but she hid it well, most days.

As she walked past him, he stopped her, pulled her close. "I missed you today."

All of her aggravation dissipated. It was in these quiet moments, when he did the unexpected, she remembered why she loved him so desperately. All of the little things, even the single big thing simply didn't matter.

Pushing up, she kissed him. "If you're a good boy, you can show me just how much you missed me later."

"I look forward to it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Their walk into town was leisurely. At one point, Laura took Robbie's hand. Strolling hand in hand, each was lost in thought. It was a change from their life before his retirement. Then, one or both often worked late nights, call outs and different shifts.

Laura, of course, didn't have to work those shifts but she had deliberately scheduled herself to work the same hours as Robbie. Now, she leaned more to the day shift with the occasional weekend call schedule. This revised schedule gave them more time together. It was nice, until the walls started to close in.

However, this unexpected change in their patterns reminded her of how much she enjoyed being with him. They made it to their favorite chip stand and placed an order. It was only a few minutes wait and then they walked to their preferred bench and settled in.

Conversation was limited as they ate. Laura ate her fill, probably more than she normally ate when he cooked, but there were still leftovers for Robbie to pick through. As he finished eating, she cleared away their wrappings then returned to sit next to him on the bench.

It pleased her when he raised his arm and let her tuck in beside him. She loved the warmth of him, the feel of him and the smell of him. All of these things combined to make her feel safe, wanted, in a way, loved.

She was lost in these musings when he suddenly pulled his arm from around her, scooted a noticeable distance from her. She was turning to see what was wrong when she heard a voice she didn't know. "Robbie, what a surprise to see you out and about tonight?"

"Just out for a walk and quick bite at the chip stand."

"How's the canoe coming along?"

Robbie laughed, "It's coming along. I shouldn't think it will be too much longer before she's seaworthy."

Laura stared at him. Who was he kidding? If that thing ever actually floated she would eat all of his meals. She was attempting to control her eye roll when she heard the next question.

"Who's this lovely lady with you?"

"This is Laura, Laura Hobson."

The other gentleman held out his hand, "Nice to meet you, Laura."

She took his hand, smiling politely, "Nice to meet you too. How do you two know each other?"

"I sold Robbie the canoe kit."

Anger flared in her, "So I've you to blame for the monstrosity on my patio."

The man looked to Robbie, "I wasn't aware Robbie lived with anyone. I thought he was a widow."

Laura looked to Robbie, could see his shame at the man's words. She stood, barely able to contain her anger and hurt. "Thank you for dinner, Robbie. I think I'll just be off home."

She was gone before he could say anything, try to fix the situation. He watched after her at a complete loss on how he was going to fix this problem.

"Hope I haven't caused a problem there."

Robbie sighed, "You didn't create the problem; I did."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Laura practically ran home. She fought the tears threatening. How had they gone from a relaxing, romantic evening to this? As she let herself into their home, she regretted moving in. Before, she could have gone to her own home, turned off her phone and ignored everything.

A couple glasses of wine, a hot bath and a good night's sleep and she would have been better. Now, there was nowhere to run. He would be home soon and she wouldn't be able to avoid the glaring issue in their relationship.

She remembered when she was younger a friend telling her there was always one person in a relationship who loved more. At the time, she'd thought it such a foolish idea. Now, living that exact scenario, she simply felt a fool.

It was the dark, dirty secret of her relationship with Robbie. Despite all of their closeness, he had never told her he loved her. He called her love or pet but he'd never uttered those words. Even when she said them to him, he usually countered with "me too."

She hadn't told anyone, was too ashamed. Everyone she knew would questione why she moved in with him, why she put up with the behavior. How she had become the one who loves more.

She couldn't draw a deep breath, the room felt airless. Throwing open the doors to the patio she was met with that damned canoe. The words of the strange man returned, full force. Suddenly she needed to be anywhere but here.

The house, she'd once found to be her place a rest, was now a prison. Grabbing a jacket, she left. No particular destination in mind, just anywhere but here. She didn't stop to leave him a note, gave no indication as to where she was going or when she would be back.

All she could think about was getting away, away from that stupid canoe, away from the home which was a prison and away from him. It wouldn't matter, would it? It wasn't as if he loved her. He didn't even care enough to tell people about her. The man who sold him the canoe knew about Val but didn't know he was living with someone else.

That simple fact tore down all of her illusions. It stripped her bare of all of the lies she'd told herself. Both about him loving her and about her need to hear him say those words. That was perhaps the biggest lie of them all. She'd let this happen. She'd lied to herself, let herself believe she didn't need to hear it.

But she did need to hear. It wasn't enough to think it was true, she needed to hear him say it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

He'd extricated himself from the conversation as quickly as he could. But he knew he would never catch up to her. Even at a normal pace she walked faster than him. And based on the hurt he'd seen on her face, her normal pace would be slow by comparison.

He didn't really know how to explain why he'd never told the man about her. There wasn't really a reason other than foolish pride. When they'd first started going out, he'd practiced introducing her in private.

Girlfriend, partner, lover, each more ridiculous than the last. He was too old for one, another felt much too cold for what they had and the other was too intimate for an introduction. The simple fact was, he wasn't sure what to call her.

It was easy when he was married, Val was his wife. Laura wasn't and he was pretty sure she didn't want to be. He'd hinted when they moved in together and she'd dodged the subject. So he'd let it go, figured he would give it time.

Standing outside of the door, he took a deep breath, praying she would let him talk before she started screaming. Using his key, he opened the door and pushed it open, peeking around the corner. The house was silent, eerily so.

"Laura…" He stepped in, listened for any sign of her. At the foot of the stairs, he called up, "Laura, can we talk? That wasn't what you think."

When he didn't receive an answer, he climbed the stairs. His heart pounded in his chest. Silence had not been what he expected. Storming, fuming, even screaming but silence was somehow more concerning.

The door to the bedroom was open, the room empty. He walked through, into the bathroom, also empty. A frantic search of the entire upstairs revealed Laura wasn't there. Returning downstairs, he checked the patio. The canoe, a source of much frustration, was the only thing he found.

He tried to calm down only to find himself racing up the stairs. He searched the closet of the extra bedroom relaxing a bit when he saw her suitcases and overnight bag. She hadn't left him. He told himself she'd probably just gone for a walk.

He would wait for her. Her not being at home was a good thing, it would give him time to think. Time to figure out how he would explain why the canoe man knew about Val but not about her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

She was finally calm as she unlocked the door. Halfway through her walk she realized it was foolish to get upset. It wasn't as if she planned to leave him. She loved him, it was a simple fact. And she was certain, in his own way, he loved her. Perhaps after losing Val, he couldn't feel the same about anyone else. She could love him enough for the both of them.

Pushing the door open, she was surprised to find him sitting at the table, a cup in front of him. He turned when he heard her. She could see the relief on his face.

"Where have you been?"

"I went for a walk. Needed some time alone, to think."

"You couldn't leave a note?"

"I didn't figure it mattered."

His laugh was almost a bark, echoing in the distance between them. "I've been worried sick."

"Why? I walk at night regularly."

"And every time, I worry."

She dropped her keys into the bowl on the table. Anger flared as she realized he was angry with her. "Which is absolutely ridiculous. It's not as if we live in some high crime area." Raising her chin, spoiling for a fight, "Or are you worried because I found out your dirty little secret?"

Robbie shook his head, "What?"

She waved her hands around, "Is this all just make believe for you? Something you have in private but don't share anywhere else?"

"Laura, that wasn't what you think. That man knew me when I was married to Val. When I bought the canoe, he asked about her and I said she died." At the uncertainty on her face, he stood, taking a tentative step toward her. "I only bought a canoe from him. It's not like I shared the intimate details of our life with him."

"Then why did you pull away from me when you saw him." At his sheepish look, she challenged me, "You're ashamed."

"Of what?"

"Of me, of us." Her voice lowered, "I get it, you don't feel the same as I do. Maybe you can't…"

"Laura, I don't know… What do you mean?"

Tears filled her eyes, "I understand, Robbie." Seeing his confusion, she explained, "There's always one person who loves more than the other. I get it, you care for me but you don't love me."

Robbie blinked, trying desperately to understand what she'd just said to him. Why would she think he didn't love her?

"It's OK. Because the truth is, I think I always knew. I might not have wanted to admit it to myself, but I always knew…"

Robbie pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her. His lips crashed into hers, silencing any further words she might utter. He clung to her, tears sliding down his face as he realized the millions of tiny ways he had hurt her.

Long before he was ready to stop kissing her, he softened the kiss. Attempted to pour all of the feelings he'd never expressed into the kiss. Finally, he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you, Laura Hobson. I don't know what made you think I didn't, but I do, more than I can ever tell you."

She looked up at him, tears finally spilling down her cheeks. "Then why don't you ever say it."

"I say it."

Stepping away, she shook her head. "No, you don't. That was the first time you've ever said those words to me."

Robbie stared at her, wracking his brain trying to think of a time he'd said those words to her. He couldn't remember a single time. A series of "me too's" rang through his brain closely followed by moments where he'd been overwhelmed by his feelings for her and had simply kissed her.

Her voice interrupted his reverie, "I need to hear it, Robbie. I need to know it."

"Did you really not know?"

She shrugged, "People don't know how you feel unless you tell them."

"That's not the first time you've given me that advice."

She looked down, "It was as true then as it is now." When he stepped forward and took her hand, she looked up at him, "Why did you pull away?"

He laughed, tightening his grip on her hand when she attempted to pull away. "That was about me, not you." Seeing her doubt, he smiled sheepishly, "I don't know how to introduce you. Girlfriend makes me feel like a fumbling lad, partner seems so sterile and lover seems a bit too much. So I pulled away from you, then I could just introduce you as Laura."

Seeing the tears streaming down her face, he pulled her to him. "I'm sorry, Laura. I promise to figure it out. Tell me what you want me to call you and I will scream it from the rooftops."

Smiling up at him, "You make it virtually impossible for me to stay mad at you."

"Am I forgiven?"

She nodded, "Always. But, Robbie, I need to hear it. I know it's probably foolish and I should be happy that you show me in so many ways…"

"But people don't know how you feel unless you tell them." Tracing his thumb down the curve of her cheek, "I promise to tell you every single day for the rest of my life."

"And you promise not to stop showing me?"

He smiled, pulling her closer to him, "I promise. Now before I take you upstairs and show you exactly how much I love you, why don't we settle the question of how I should introduce you."

"How would you like to introduce me?"

He paused for only a second, then dove in. "Left to me, I would introduce you as my wife."

Laura's eyes widened, despite her belief that she didn't need a ring or marriage hearing him say those words shifted her thinking. Suddenly it seemed to be exactly what she needed in life.

"I think I might like that as well."


End file.
